what is the game
losing something is interesting. you can convince yourself that it was never yours and it’s just onto its next adventure. i think there’s a deep truth to that. but there are some losses that feel so big precisely because you knew they were never yours. it’s a kind of universal loss. universal bittersweet. shared by all at one time or another. a cosmic tragedy.
same goes for finding something. some finds are cosmic, wondrous, and you know you’ll never own them….kismet is a word i really like. some finds go directly into the “mine” pile and are destined to fly away or weigh down.
I’ve had lots of all these kinds of losses and finds. These days I try to skew towards the cosmic.
I am gifted and cursed by suspicion
on the good side of the ledger I can sense traps
on the bad side of the ledger I trap myself into doubt
there is a song called Grow Mama Grow by Dominique Fils-Aimé that’s got a nice groove. It recently came back into my life and I was happy about it.
the time I ran away to watch Star Wars at the movie theatre. I couldn’t even enjoy it 😂 (moral: when you break the rules, fully break them).
Dreams and Aspirations
fully trusting and gliding into each moment
an open window to a gratefully cooler night air, a new computer, a recently vacuumed floor, the sound of a blue heron, the smell of dinner just cooked, the sight of a hungarian shawl bought in montréal.
like a sea urchin in the ocean
these days garlic, sauerkraut, gazpacho
SENSE OF AGENCY.